just post
I think I'll be using this space as a street-facing diary going forward. I'm not a shower, but life's inertia has me going that direction. We have a large bay window facing west, toward the street, on our home that we just leave the blinds wide and open for 99% of the time. I don't have the energy to pull them down, and no one in my house seems to mind. When they're down, they become a target of the toddler's curiosity and we don't have the money to replace them nor the time to untangle them after he's finished. So, they kinda just stay up -- kinda like this blag (and yeah, "blag" stopped being funny in 2011, but idgaf).
I have very little to say to the void this week, or month. My kids are surprise gems found in this life. The wife and I celebrated 12 years of marriage earlier this week -- the time just slipped by until we arrived into parenthood, leaving us sleepless and happy and complete.
I spent a bit of time thinking of my relationships outside my immediate family. I miss a friend from Virginia Beach I once had, but I don't have the courage to re-engage with that friend, and do I even have the throughput for it? I mourn a failed relationship with my father. I wonder how I can make friends today, as I approach 40 and have barely the time to even take care of myself while investing, willingly, all my energies into my two sons.
I feel uncomfortable around people, even though I feel as though that is pretty important. I want to get into politics, but I hate politics. I want to find time for myself, but I prefer spending time on my kids. The contradictions keep piling on the ego until the load-bearing caffeine infusion breaks.
Here's a picture of Jason Isbell being very, very, cool. I saw him last week, and I love him:
